How To Get a Taurus Man Back

Previously, I had shared my story about the breakup and reconciliation between me and my Taurus then-boyfriend (you may have guessed that we’re married now, and you would be right). I thought it would be worthwhile to share with you now the understanding that astrology gave me that enabled me to not only win him back, but to keep him! I will start with a little bit about how things went wrong between us; where we misunderstood each other, because if you don’t know what’s not going right, you can’t exactly fix it, can you? Then, I’ll fill you in what I had learned, and how exactly I fixed things.

The first thing to understand about a Taurus is that they love tranquility and harmony in a relationship. They absolutely will avoid a fight at all cost.

To keep the peace in a relationship, they will often assume the “silent sufferer” role when something offends them. On top of that, they genuinely believe that they can bear this burden, that the other will change eventually, that “this too shall pass,” or some mix of that. If there was ever a power animal for a Taurus in this light, it would be Eeyore, and “It’s okay, I’m used to it...” is their mantra.

That is, until they can’t bear the burden anymore, the other person doesn’t change, or the issue doesn’t go away. Then you begin to see the storm clouds loom over their heads and you get the silent treatment just like in my case. You never really see Eeyore hit that point where “it doesn’t matter anyway” doesn’t work anymore, but it would probably look a lot like my Taurus breakup. Gradually, he would talk less and less with the others, until he just disappears altogether.

The thing is, when a Taurus finally comes around to cutting things off, they still want to keep things as peaceful as possible, while still making it look absolute. You’ll get no big display of having your things thrown in the lawn while screaming “IT’S OVER!”; their portrayal of an absolute break up is to, when pushed, simply say that “it’s not working” and offer nothing more. At a distance. By phone. But preferably by simply “ghosting,” or fading away.

This distance also serves another purpose for them: that “as peaceful as possible” split. Taureans don’t want a big scene like, say, an Aries, Libra, or a Leo, so breaking up by text is perfect for them, though they would prefer to “ghost out.” They don’t get to see you cry, you don’t get to see them cry, and they can ignore all the expected responses you can make.

That brings up one thing to understand about Taureans, “ghosting,” and the “break up by text” method. It’s so very popular today to consider a guy disrespectful, immature, “not a real man,” or even a douche nozzle for calling things off by text. This may hold true for many men, but not a Taurus.

You see, Taurus men are the embodiment of the “strong, silent type” that was once admired publicly, and probably still so in the depths of our hearts, if the popularity of Darryl Dixon in “The Walking Dead” is any indication. Quite unlike the weakness that our hurt wants to apply to men who try to quietly leave our lives, a Taurus’ strength is without question, so this may be puzzling to many people. I know it was puzzling to my Gemini self.

Some key phrases in the Taurus lexicon that I didn’t have then were: “Actions, not words,” and “Talk is cheap.” They are probably the most physically expressive sign in the zodiac, though not in the full-frontal Aries kind of way. Saying “I love you” pales in comparison to cuddling. In fact, the way a Taurus sees a relationship is more or less that you’re either cuddling or you’re not cuddling. Talking about cuddling is not cuddling.

So when it comes to breaking up, they’re going to be as far from cuddling as they can be. They also recognize that a furious dish- smashing blow up is not that. Because it can lead to make up sex. Which leads to cuddling. Not so much for not even being there.

Besides, they will often see confrontation as a form of weakness. If you’re arguing about something, or maybe even simply disagree about something, the relationship has a weakness. This does kind of get in the way of their relationships in that not only do some differences demand a degree of confrontation to resolve, but they typically believe that the presence of these differences means that you two aren’t a perfect match, and weren’t meant to be. Relationships are an area where they expect things to just fall into place, and if they don’t, it’s time to move on.

Now contrast that with our confrontation-oriented break up policy of being in person and saying it to our faces. There’s nothing peaceful about that. There’s no smooth transition. It’s not that they’re weak or immature, it’s that this focus of “talking things out” is alien to them. You might as well send them hate mail for not trying to set up a home theater system as a form of breaking up. They simply don’t see conversation as being their strong suit in a relationship. Now this gets into why he got jealous over my study buddy...

We Geminis are notoriously social and chatty. One particular strength (and weakness) of a Taurus’ silence is that they can observe things more. What he saw is ultimately me spending time (which could be spent with him cuddling with a movie) with someone else, doing something that he didn’t provide as well: talking about and hashing out issues in something that he was patently not interested in.

When jealousy enters the picture in a relationship, it’s almost always about something where the jealous person feels they may be lacking. In my Taurus’ case, sure, we talked, but it was never about bouncing ideas off of each other, much less hashing out any differences in our views. In fact, where we always succeeded was in talking about things we had in common (write that down for your notes!)

Then there was the theological, or metaphysical subject matter. Now, you may think, “Oh, my Taurus is a spiritual person, he goes to church all the time!” This is a point where we need to draw the line between spirituality and religion. Because my Taurus goes to church all the time, too.

Generally speaking, Taureans are focused on the physical, and if there’s something beyond the physical, they leave that to someone else. Someone else can think about what God must be like, other people can argue about whether Jesus was more human or more God, all they really want is the connection, at least with tradition. I would daresay that our Bulls make the best Roman Catholics, because it provides tradition, a ready-made God connection (that they can eat, it just so happens), rules and structure, and really great buildings (they love architecture, too). If it’s unquestioning faith that builds churches, you can hardly do better than lining the pews with Tauruses.

None of what my study partner and I were working on was interesting to my boyfriend, not at all. In fact, some of it was nigh on heretical to him. To him, “The Church Fathers said this, and that is that” is all he needed, and anything else was dangerous thinking. Now there was this whole world and area of interest that I was excited about (being purely Gemini) that he felt he could not be part of. But my study buddy could, and the coils of the jealousy serpent wound tighter on his brain. That was the tipping point that made him decide it was over. And of course, I didn’t understand that, at the time.

If I had known then what I needed to know to get him back, I would have known that my trip to Romania was probably the singular biggest mistake in getting him back that I could have made.

Luckily for us, it was only a delay in getting back together, and one where I learned exactly what I needed to know to get him back. Our breakup certainly didn’t last for my lack of trying, but that itself was a problem. I tried to get him back in all the wrong ways. I begged with him. I pleaded with him. I tried to reason with him (which, by the way, was the worst idea). All he did was dig his heels in all the more. So I had to withdraw and learn a different approach.

While it’s true that the Taurus is the biggest holder of tradition in the zodiac, this is one point where they’re oddly not traditional. That is, in the traditional view that the man pursues the woman. So at first, the realization that I was chasing him and not the other way around was terrifying. I thought it was truly over. This very tradition-oriented guy was not doing the traditional thing that says a guy wants a woman.

Over the course of my lessons with Aunt Camelia, I learned what went wrong and how I could fix it. Off and on, I still called my ex- boyfriend to try and at least talk to him. Mostly, I left messages. I guess that was my way of practicing what I was learning. And as the time went by, I came to realize that in all likelihood, he was less interested in my development as a budding astrologer and more about the culture of the area, the Burca Mud Volcanoes, and that funny thing Camelia said to her neighbor the other day. Bit by bit, I learned more how to talk to him about things that interest him.

Another thing I learned that was super important is that focusing on the breakup; asking what went wrong and what could I do to fix it was completely the wrong thing to do. The basic idea is that as long as I kept bringing it up, I kept making it “in the here and now” instead of letting it go back in time to the past.

The thing about Tauruses is that they have long memories... perhaps not as long as Scorpios or maybe Cancers, but very long, and especially when something painful is involved. If you keep making it a current problem, it will never fade away into a “thing of the past.” It can certainly take a lot of time, but eventually, it will go to the past. What’s important is to keep them included in your life, and make them want to rejoin it. Remember the old image of having a horse pull a cart by having a carrot dangled in front of his nose? It’s the same thing.

I read a really interesting myth a few months back that illustrates this exact idea. The ruler of the Japanese Shinto pantheon is a Sun goddess named Amaterasu, who is also related to the planet Venus, Taurus’ ruler. One day, out of jealousy of her position (among other things), her brother, Susanoo, the Storm god and patron of anger management issues, wreaked havoc on her house and garden, destroying everything. In a fit of despair, Amaterasu hid in a cave, depriving the world of sunlight.

All the other Gods and Goddesses tried in their own ways to get her out of the cave and restore light to the earth. No amount of bargaining, reasoning, or other direct “confrontational” approaches could persuade her. It was only when the Gods had a party outside of the cave that she became curious enough to come out herself, to see her own brilliant reflection in a mirror placed outside the cave entrance. Then, she remembered herself; her value, role, and responsibility to everyone else.

In less mythological terms, some key words to understand a Taurus by are “animal” and “creature.” They love “creature comforts,” and just like many animals, they retreat when hurt. And in that situation, you have to make them want to come to you if you expect them to let you help them.

It was something that happened so organically between me and my Taurus that honestly, I didn’t realize it was happening. It’s only in hindsight that I actually realize that’s what was going on at all.

So when I called him after I got back home, I was somewhat surprised that he answered. Over the course of my stay with Aunt Camelia, I had become accustomed to him not answering, and had called him way less frequently than when I first got to Romania. Imagine how floored I was that he invited me out to coffee afterward!

Apparently, he had listened to all of the messages I left him, but didn’t feel like he should answer me or call back while I was there. Like I couldn’t be real in his life until I was at least in the same city as him again. Ever the Taurus, he wanted the sure bet!

Now, I could stop here and say “the rest is history,” or “they lived happily ever after,” but that would miss a crucial part of how I managed to KEEP my Taurus man after I had won him back. As changeable as a Gemini is and as stubborn as a Taurus is, I can’t stop here and leave it at “change to accommodate him.” No, I still believe that it takes two to tango, and as I evolved to understand him, I had to convince him to evolve to understand me, as well. Especially as my career took off in the direction of metaphysical stuff that frankly makes him sort of narcoleptic.

It’s cute, really, when his eyes glaze over when I start waxing lyrically over Venus conjunct Luna in Cancer. But it’s great hearing him laugh now that he gets the joke when I ask “Why do Cancer men end up with damaged women?” (The answer is that they had damaged mamas.)

I won’t argue, it’s a long journey of jiving up apples and oranges to get a Taurus to understand a Gemini. To get a Taurus to come to understand anything outside of their comfort zone is a lot of work, for that matter. Here are the basics:

1. Baby steps. I still haven’t gotten him fully on board with astrology, and really, I don’t have to. But little by little, I’ve gotten him to accept it. Every so often, I’ll get a knowing chuckle out of him when I make a comment of “just like a Taurus.” But most pragmatically, I think I got his support in this when I started making a reasonable income at it. If I had thrown all of my Gemini-ness at him and said “deal with it,” I’m pretty sure that would have set us back at zero.

2. Make him want to do it. That, or make him think it’s his idea. Beyond getting the lumbering bull to follow the glib Gemini, this goes with everything that you want that’s outside of his comfort zone. Art museums or the opera? Piece of cake with the Taurus. Dancing...well...we’re still working on that, and we haven’t quite taken it out of the house just yet...back to baby steps...it’s not that he’s a bad dancer or anything, but he isn’t confident with it yet, and it still shows.

3. Validate, validate, validate. I won’t take the pandering angle that many astrologers do about Tauruses having “bruised egos,” because really, they are some of the most selflessly loving people out there. The thing is, this goes back to making them want to do things versus cajoling them into it. “Attract more flies with honey than vinegar” is a tactic that works especially well with Tauruses. While he may be uncomfortable wearing that new shirt, he’ll begrudgingly wear it at first and maybe eventually come to like it if you keep with the wolf whistles and “my, you’re handsome in that shirt” comments.

4. Be persistent and consistent. Patience is definitely a virtue with Taurus men. I won’t go so far as to say that they’re Homer Simpsons or Peter Griffins, but I will say that the dynamics of their marriages are extreme caricatures of the Taurus dynamic. Tauruses are the very definition of “creatures of habit,” so to help them break a habit or pick up a new one, you have to keep with it, day in and day out.

5. Never seem like you’re controlling. In fact, don’t be. I know...the tone of these points all seem to be in the direction of the age-old stereotype of a woman trying to change her man. And believe me, if a Taurus man smells that trap, you’re doomed from the start.

The big thing to watch out for is to seem like you’re making him do all the changing, while you aren’t changing at all yourself. We’re talking about stuff that’s outside of his comfort zone here, and he needs to know that you’re doing it too, and really, you should be. There’s much that my Gemini self learned from my Taurus (ahem, patience...), and honestly, I’ve probably learned more from him and changed more from his influence than he has from me. I’m still working out that never being in a hurry but always being on time thing, for instance...

I do hope that once you’ve made it this far, you didn’t come expecting any “instant success secrets” for winning back your Taurus. The fact is, there’s nothing instant about successfully getting back with your Taurus man, there’s only what works. And what works with a Taurus is ultimately becoming a little bit of a Taurus yourself. Learn persistence. Learn patience. Learn pragmatism. And, well, it definitely helps to lean a bit more on your feminine wiles, too, and flatter his vanity!

Good luck in your endeavors and with your relationship! I truly wish you all the best and that you will succeed in getting him back into your life!

Ask Me Anything Because you purchased my Taurus Man Secrets series, I'm giving you access to my customer-only email: contact@horoscopesocialnetwork.com You can email me directly with your question! Tell me about your situation and I'll try to help.

Wishing you all the love and luck in the universe,

Your Friend and Relationship Astrologer,

MJSEO TEAM